DAVID BECKHAM FAILS TO SEE CANCER CHILDREN IN AUSTRALIA

It's been a bad week for David Beckham. England failed to qualify for the European Championships in football, meaning his international career is surely over at a tantalising 99 caps. His wife's comeback with her former group is going very badly indeed and now, worst of all, he has been accused of snubbing a load of sick kids in Australia. And not just slightly poorly sick kids, properly sick ones with cancer and everything.

Beckham arrived in Australia yesterday to play an exhibition match with his comedy team LA Galaxy. Naturally, he didn't choose to travel with the rest of the footballing hoi polloi and arrived on his own private jet (he had to make a quick stop off in Beijing on Saturday to promote a Motorola phone, because he needs the money) then was escorted by limousine to his hotel.

Unfortunately, a group of kiddies with life-threatening illnesses were waiting outside hoping for autographs

And how they waved and shouted as David's limo with blacked out windows and police escort approached the hotel entrance!

David has an excellent excuse though. He didn't see them.

"I would never have done that. Never have done, never will do. I'm more than willing to meet them wherever they want and at whatever time that they want," he puffed as his PR people muttered at each other and wished they were dead.

The locals seem to accept this explanation, even the mother of Emma Byers, a cancer-sufferer who had been waiting to present a toy kangaroo to the footballer, which, cancer or not, is a pretty thoughtless and obvious present.

"I'm quite happy to accept that he didn't see the children," said Anita Byers, "The kids were off to the side. The cameras were flashing. It was a bit dark," before failing to add, "He's ours now, for however long we want, wherever and whatever time we want."

Source: holymoly.co.uk