Thursday, November 23, 2023

A great find from Facebook

 * I didn’t write this *


As you know, I once was an evangelical megachurch pastor and my pastoral career stretched over many years. Eventually, I could no longer teach Christian doctrine with a good conscience and realized this teaching was not truly changing people’s lives… and so I walked away from the whole enchilada. 


Below are 14 things that the misguided religious establishment doesn't want you to know. Speaking for myself and my personal experience, I was not able to see or admit these things to myself. I truly got into ministry initially because I wanted to make a difference and help people, and I relied upon the belief-system I learned as the proper framework to achieve this. It took a lot of post-religion reflection to see the ways this belief-system was hurting people. 


I offer the below list in hopes that you might disentangle yourself from harmful beliefs and attitudes impacting your life. 


14 things the misguided religious establishment doesn’t want you to know: 


1. Toxic religion is rooted in fear, especially fear about the afterlife. It leverages the false doctrine of hell to win converts and demand holiness. The fear of God's disapproval, rejection, abandonment and punishment is another hallmark of toxic religion. 


2. Clergy have no innate authority. Holding a church leadership position or having a theological degree does not imbue a person with special divine authority or superiority. The terms "anointed", "called", or "chosen" or titles such as "pastor", "priest", "bishop", "elder", "evangelist" or "apostle" do not confer any innate authority on an individual or group. 


3. We hold sacred what we are taught to hold sacred, which is why what is sacred to one community is not sacred to another. 


4. The stories in our sacred books aren’t history, nor were they meant to be. The authors of these books weren’t historians but writers of historical fiction: they used history (or pseudo history) as a context or pretext for their own ideas. Reading sacred texts as history may yield some nuggets of the past, but the real gold is in seeing these stories as myth and parable, and trying to unpack the possible meanings these parables and myths may hold. 


5. Prayer doesn’t work the way you think it does. You can’t bribe God, or change God’s mind through obedience, devotion, or groveling. The underlying theistic premises of prayer are untenable.


6. Anything you claim to know about God, even the notion that there is a God, is a projection of your psyche. What you say about God—who God is, what God cares about, who God rewards, and who God punishes—says nothing about God and everything about you. If you believe in an unconditionally loving God, you probably value unconditional love. If you believe in a God who divides people into chosen and not chosen, believers and infidels, saved and damned, high cast or low caste, etc. you are likely someone who divides people into in–groups and out–groups with you and your group as the quintessential in-group. God may or may not exist, but your idea of God mirrors yourself and your values. 


7. Nobody is born Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, Catholic, Protestant, etc. People are born human and are slowly conditioned by narratives of race, religion, gender, nationality, etc. to be less than human. 


8. Theology isn’t the free search for truth, but rather a defense of an already held position. Theology is really apologetics, explaining why a belief is true rather than seeking out the truth in and of itself. All theological reasoning is circular, inevitably “proving” the truth of its own presupposition. 


9. Becoming more religious cannot save us. Religion is a human invention reflecting the best and worst of humanity; becoming more religious will simply allow us to perpetuate compassion and cruelty in the name of religion. Because religion always carries the danger of fanaticism, becoming more religious may only heighten the risk of us becoming more fanatical. 


10. Becoming less religious cannot save us. In fact, being against religion can become it’s own fanaticism. Becoming less religious will simply force us to perpetuate compassion and cruelty in the name of something else. Secular societies that actively suppress religion have proven no more just or compassionate than religious societies that suppress secularism or free thought. This is because neither religion nor the lack of religion solely nullifies our human potential to act out of ego, greed, fear, hostility, and hatred. 


11. A healthy religion is one that helps us own and integrate the shadow side of human nature for the good of person and planet, something few clergy are trained to do. Clergy are trained to promote the religion they represent. They are apologists not liberators. If you want to be more just, compassionate, and loving, you must do the personal work within yourself, and free yourself from the conditions that lock you into injustice, cruelty, and hate, and this means you have to free yourself from all your narratives, including those you call “religious.” 


12. Religious leaders claims that their particular understanding and interpretation of their sacred books should be universally accepted. Religious leaders often say, “My authority is the Bible.” It would be more accurate for them to say, “My authority is what they taught me at seminary the Bible means.” People start with flawed or false presuppositions about what the Bible is, such as: the Bible was meant to present a coherent theology about God or is a piece of doctrinal exposition; the Bible is the inerrant, infallible and sole message/"Word" of God to the world; the Bible is a blueprint for daily living. Too often religious leaders make God about having "correct theology." There are a lot of unhappy, broken, hurting, suffering, depressed, lonely people in church with church-approved theology. 


13. If your livelihood depends on the success of your church as an organization, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you will mostly define and reward Christianity as participation in church structures and programs. Christian living is mostly a decentralized reality or way of life, not a centralized or program-dependent phenomenon. Church attendance, tithing, membership, service, and devoted participation, become the hallmarks of Christian maturity. 


14. You are capable of guiding your own spiritual path from the inside out and don't need to be told what to do. You naturally have the ability, capacity, tools and skills to guide and direct your life meaningfully, ethically and effectively. Through the use of your fundamental human faculties such as critical thinking, empathy, reason, conscience and intuition, you can capably lead your life. You have the choice to cultivate a spirituality that doesn’t require you to be inadequate, powerless, weak, and lacking, but one that empowers you toward strength, vitality, wholeness, and the fulfillment of your highest potentialities and possibilities.


Jim Palmer

Sunday, May 09, 2021

A Great Book~ Broken by Jenny Lawson



You can’t find severe mental illness without mental health programs without therapy and medication and outreach. We rely others to keep us going to save us from ourselves 

I’m lucky I have support and insurance and a voice and money and medication and treatment that is provided to me. What about those who don’t have those things ? We fail them and ourselves.

This is what I know. I am at risk of suicide. It’s what’s written deep in my drs notes. It’s the unsaid things.

It’s hard to live with a brain that wants to kill you. It’s not my fault. Invisible things can be real. I fight against an invisible monster that lives inside me. I have support and medication and treatments and a community and privileges that so many others don’t have. I am lucky. 

Thought if I do die I’ll get some rest, that’s fucked up I know









 I love this author so much, I took photos of my favorite thing she wrote so everyone can enjoy



Monday, December 02, 2019

Affirmation I found

If I can’t fix everything today, I’ll just fix one thing.

If I can’t help myself, I’ll just help another.

If I can’t lift my hand, I’ll just lift my finger.

If I can’t run, I’ll just walk.

If I don’t know how I’ll go on, I’ll just go on anyway without knowing how.

If I don’t know where I’m going, I’ll just keep going somewhere.

Today, I’ll do something that I think I can’t do, and then I’ll know that I can do something.

I have the world at my fingertip.

~ Jean-Guy Martin

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Comforting Post From Facebook



I've been crying, safe and loved, but crying out to my God. My prayers shouting to Him exactly what I wanted, what I needed, but they were met with silence.

I couldn’t see Him. I didn’t recognize the work He was doing. And though I couldn’t understand it, He was preparing exactly what I needed, what I was crying for.

If you have found yourself in a season of crying out to God, wondering where He is or what He’s doing, remember that your Father in Heaven loves you more than you can imagine. He’s standing in the next room, listening to your cries, preparing what you need.

You have not been abandoned. You are not alone. Your God is at work. He hears your cries.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
(2 Corinthians 4:18, NIV)

Wednesday, October 02, 2019

New Bible study




Continue to stay close to Jesus and God.Not every one in a while or only on Sundays. How much do we spend with our Shepard. Do I reach out to him only when I need him? We don't want  to unravel when problems show up in our lives. We don't want to have sleepless nights or carry around worry. We want to be aware of the holy spirits  power and presence so we can enjoy God's blessings and joy in every season of my life. The scriptures declare God has prepared blessings for us. What God offers is available to us all the time. All we need to do is stay in his presence.

Source: Psalm 23: The Shepard With Me

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Encouraging is key




Bible has a lot to teach us about finding joy in the act of sharing it. Thessalonians 5:11 says " Therefore encourage one another and build each other up."

Scripture includes many verses about God, his son and Angels in heaven encouraging us( scriptures Romans 15:5, 2nd Thessalonians 2:16-17, Hebrews 12:1)

God considers encouragement to be a crucial part of life in Christ. Jesus modeled this as he came alongside his disciples, summoned the best in them, built them up.

Max Lucado-Happiness Challenge

Monday, September 16, 2019

Article on anxiety



"Anxiety is a normal, predictable part of life,” said Tom Corboy, MFT, the founder and executive director of the OCD Center of Los Angeles, and co-author of the upcoming book The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD.

However, “people with an anxiety disorder are essentially phobic about the feeling state of anxiety.” And they’ll go to great lengths to avoid it.

Some people experience generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), excessive anxiety about real-life concerns, such as money, relationships, health and academics, he said.

Others struggle with society anxiety, and worry about being evaluated or embarrassing themselves, he said. People with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) might become preoccupied with symmetry or potential contamination, he said.

“The bottom line is that people can experience anxiety, and anxiety disorders, related to just about anything.”

Some people may not struggle with a clinical disorder, but want to manage sporadic (yet intrusive) bouts of anxiety and stress.

Whether you have occasional anxiety or a diagnosable disorder, the good news is that you can take small, effective and straightforward steps every day to manage and minimize your anxiety.

Most of these steps contribute to a healthy and fulfilling life, overall. For instance, “making some basic lifestyle changes can do wonders for someone coping with elevated anxiety,” Corboy said. Below, you’ll find 15 small steps you can take today.

1. Take a deep breath.

“Deep diaphragmatic breathing triggers our relaxation response, switching from our fight-or-flight response of the sympathetic nervous system, to the relaxed, balanced response of our parasympathetic nervous system,” according to Marla Deibler, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, executive director of The Center for Emotional Health of Greater Philadelphia and Psych Central blogger.

She suggested the following exercise, which you can repeat several times: Inhale slowly to a count of four, starting at your belly and then moving into your chest. Gently hold your breath for four counts. Then slowly exhale to four counts.

2. Get active.

“One of the most important things one can do [to cope with anxiety] is to get regular cardiovascular exercise,” Corboy said. For instance, a brisk 30- to 60-minute walk “releases endorphins that lead to a reduction in anxiety.”

You can start today by taking a walk. Or create a list of physical activities that you enjoy, and put them on your schedule for the week. Other options include: running, rowing, rollerblading, hiking, biking, dancing, swimming, surfing, step aerobics, kickboxing and sports such as soccer, tennis and basketball.

3. Sleep well.

Not getting enough sleep can trigger anxiety. If you’re having trouble sleeping, tonight, engage in a relaxing activity before bedtime, such as taking a warm bath, listening to soothing music or taking several deep breaths. (You’ll find more tips here.)

And, if you’re like many people with anxiety whose brains start buzzing right before bed, jot down your worries earlier in the day for 10 to 15 minutes, or try a mental exercise like thinking of fruits with the same letter. (Find more suggestions here.)

4. Challenge an anxious thought.

“We all have moments wherein we unintentionally increase or maintain our own worry by thinking unhelpful thoughts. These thoughts are often unrealistic, inaccurate, or, to some extent, unreasonable,” Deibler said.

Thankfully, we can change these thoughts. The first step is to identify them. Consider how a specific thought affects your feelings and behaviours, Deibler said. Is it helpful or unhelpful?

Unhelpful thoughts usually come in the form of “what ifs,” “all-or-nothing thinking,” or “catastrophizing,” Deibler said. She gave these examples: “What if I make a fool of myself?” “What if I fail this exam?” or “What if this airplane crashes?”

These are the types of thoughts you want to challenge. Deibler suggested asking yourself:

“Is this worry realistic?” “Is this really likely to happen?” “If the worst possible outcome happens, what would be so bad about that?” “Could I handle that?” “What might I do?” “If something bad happens, what might that mean about me?” “Is this really true or does it just seem that way?” “What might I do to prepare for whatever may happen?”

Then, “reframe or correct that thought to make it more accurate, realistic and more adaptive.” Here’s one example: “I would feel embarrassed if I tripped on the stage, but that’s just a feeling; it wouldn’t last forever, and I would get through it.”

5. Say an encouraging statement.

Positive, accurate statements can help to put things into perspective. Deibler gave these examples: “Anxiety is just a feeling, like any other feeling.” and “This feels bad, but I can use some strategies to [cope with] it.”

6. Stay connected to others.

“Social support is vital to managing stress,” Deibler said. Today, call a loved one, schedule a Skype date or go to lunch with a close friend. “Talking with others can do a world of good.” Another option is to get together and engage in an activity that improves your anxiety, such as taking a walk, sitting on the beach or going to a yoga class.

7. Avoid caffeine.

Managing anxiety is as much about what you do as what you don’t do. And there are some substances that exacerbate anxiety. Caffeine is one of those substances. As Corboy said, “The last thing people with anxiety need is a substance that makes them feel more amped up, which is exactly what caffeine does.”

8. Avoid mind-altering substances.

“While drugs and alcohol might help to reduce anxiety in the short term, they often do just the opposite in the long term,” Corboy said. Even the short-term effect can be harmful.

Corboy and his team have treated countless clients whose first panic attack occurred while they were taking drugs such as marijuana, ecstasy or LSD. “Panic attacks are bad enough if you are straight and sober, so imagine how bad they are if you are high, and can’t get un-high until the drug wears off.”

9. Do something you enjoy.

Engaging in enjoyable activities helps to soothe your anxiety. For instance, today, you might take a walk, listen to music or read a book, Deibler said.

10. Take a break.

It’s also helpful to build breaks into your day. As Deibler said, this might be a “simple change of pace or scenery, enjoying a hobby, or switching ‘to-do’ tasks.” “Breaking from concerted effort can be refreshing.”

11. Problem-solve.

Deibler suggested considering how you can address the stressors that are causing your anxiety. Today, make a list of these stressors and next to each one, jot down one or two solutions.

12. Pick up a book.

There are many valuable resources on anxiety, which teach you effective coping skills. Corboy recommended Dying of Embarrassment for people with social anxiety; The BDD Workbook for body dysmorphic disorder; The Imp of the Mind and The OCD Workbook for obsessive-compulsive disorder. Deibler suggested Stop Obsessing for adults with OCD (and Up and Down the Worry Hill for kids with OCD).

For people with panic attacks, she suggested Don’t Panic: Taking Control of Anxiety Attacks. For a general overview of cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety, Corboy recommended The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. He also recommended Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life and The Wisdom of No Escape.

(You can find more book recommendations at Corboy’s website.)

13. Engage in calming practices.

According to Corboy, “meditation, yoga, or other calming practices can help minimize anxiety in both the short and long term.” Sign up for a yoga class or watch a yoga video online. (Curvy Yoga is a wonderful resource for yoga for all shapes and sizes.) Meditate right now for just three minutes. (Here’s how.)

14. Contact a therapist.

“Sometimes anxiety can be difficult to manage without professional help,” Deibler said. Many organizations include databases of providers who specialize in anxiety (along with helpful information). She suggested these organizations: www.ocfoundation.org, www.adaa.org and www.abct.org.

15. Accept your anxiety.

“If you really want to effectively manage your anxiety, the key is to accept it,” Corboy said. This might sound counterintuitive. But anxiety, “in and of itself,” isn’t the real problem. Instead, it’s our attempts at controlling and eliminating it, he said. “Not accepting these unwanted inner experiences is the actual source of so much of our self-induced suffering.”

Accepting anxiety doesn’t mean “resign[ing] ourselves to a life of anxious misery. It simply means that we are better off recognizing and fully accepting the existence of anxiety and other uncomfortable emotional states that are inevitable, but transitory,” Corboy said.

So if you experience anxiety today, simply observe it, Deibler said. “Think of it like a wave of the ocean; allow it to come in, experience it, and ride it out.”

Anxiety can feel overwhelming. It can feel like chains around your feet, weighing you down. But by taking small steps – like the ones above – you can minimize your anxiety and cope effectively.

Sunday, September 15, 2019

Facts about depression



Depression is quite common with over 16 million adults suffering from it every year. That's 6.7% of Americans. There are countless people out there suffering from it.

One sad fact about depression is only one-third of the number of people suffering from depression actually seek professional treatment. The other set of people that do not bother about treatment believe depression is not a serious illness which they can overcome by themselves. Some other people think it is a kind of body or mental weakness rather than a serious mental illness, so they do not bother seeking treatment and then it gets worse.

Source: Facebook group

Monday, September 02, 2019

Another encouraging Bible study




Its Not Supposed To Be This Way by Lisa TerKeurst

Cleanse me with hyssop and I will be clean; Wash me, I will be whiter than snow-Psalm 51:7

Hyssop was a paintbrush of Passover, a representation of problems at the hands of others. When we suffer at the hands of others, it's Jesus who rescues us, saves us, defends us, brings restitution. Jesus is with you in every teardrop. He is the solution. He is the answer. He will heal us of all the pain. Tears are precious to the Lord.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your bottle. -Psalm 56:8

Tuesday, August 27, 2019

What I learned from the book Point Of View by Elizabeth Hasselbeck



On page 20 it says Isaiah 43:1 which says " fear not , for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are mine."

On page 54 it says " even in the middle of a desert, in the rough places, he is there. He has gone before me, and he will never let me go. God opened my eyes to see clearly that I am made by him, apart from him I can do nothing, he is my comforter and he is never away from me."

Saturday, August 24, 2019

Things I learned from a book called David Limbaugh called Jesus is Risen



On page 56 it says" we should always strive to grow in our Christian walk, seek God in prayer,study his word to plum the unfamathomable depths of his riches."

On page 60 it says " the reason why God didn't rescue Paul from prison as he does Peter, because God arranged for Paul to convert the jailer,he observes, it is beautiful that Paul sings hymns, while Peter sleeps."

On page 64 it said " staying daily in the Word and prayer, seeking to know the heart and wisdom of God and he will bless those efforts."

On page 74 it says " why they are testing God by placing a home on the disciple's necks that they and their ancestors couldn't bear. The yoke he refers to the set of laws and rules they have lived with under and want to preserve. After all their salvation is based on faith in Christ, not works of law."

On page 88 it says " ironically, demons are the first to recognize Jesus's identity during his earthly ministry. While the demons recognize him, they don't place their faith in him. As Jesus proclaimed but if it's by the finger of God that I cast you out demons, then the kingdom of God has come upon you"

A great find from Facebook

 * I didn’t write this * As you know, I once was an evangelical megachurch pastor and my pastoral career stretched over many years. Eventual...